Today, is Good Friday. The day where Jesus Christ choose to die for us 2000 years ago. I went to church at 830am for stations of the cross and stayed on for the 9am service. The church was crowded by 8am. By 815am the whole church was filled up with many many people. It was an unbelievable sight to see how people remember how he died for us. I watched the passion of christ today. It was very very hard for me to sit through the whole movie. Just imagine how he was whipped. it was just so so painful. Mother mary said this verse: "It is time and my heart is ready." She was sad, you could see from her face but she didn't cry much because she knew that she would bring jesus to earth but would have to let him die for us 30years later. It was very difficult for mary to let jesus go and you could see the pain she had in her eyes. There was a part where jesus felt down the 3rd time. Every bone in him broken, every fresh of him tore. Mary ran to him and said i am here and at the same time there was a flashback when jesus was young he felt mary quickly ran and pick him up and said i am here and hugged him. Back to the scene mary tried picking jesus up and said" i am here" and jesus replied "see mother i make things new." he was then forced to stand up and walked on. I have been thinking recently he didn't need to do all this at all. He didn't need to suffer for us, he could choose to say no i won't die for this people. But no, he chose to suffer for us sinners. It makes me wonder why over and over again. What do this to himself? But i finally found the answer its because he loves us so much until he will do anything for us and i mean anything. He is god but he was willing to be a human like any of us and to suffer in his human self. it was indeed a eye opener. 

i had a long day at school today. Thank god for Rachel, Jane, Zura, Zakiah and many other friends that i can get along with. Without them i would have died long time ago. I had journalism class today. One word. BORING! i tried putting my best effort to listen to him. But this teacher is BAD! Talk to himself and the people in front. Use microphone for what? Put for fun ah? toy ah? you think what? FUNFAIR AH? he had the cheek to tell us to get out of class! gosh. Uncle we come for your class because of attendance ok? You think all of us enjoy to come for your lecture and hear you talk to yourself? Its not that we do not want to listen but you talk to yourself of course we will divert our attendance to something else. MDIS please do something with your lecturers man. So far i can say only K.L lim, Naidu and Raj are the best. Haha thinking of Naidu, you don't if you want to love him or you want to hate him. but he is indeed funny and he lets us interact with him. strict but at least he does not talk to himself! too bad he ain't teaching us anything this term. Okie sorry for being long winded, as i was saying i was in school doing my project. Advertising project. The starting of the project is always very very hard. Having to figure out what are the problems in a topic then deciding how to go on from there. Its tough. For the hours spent we were just figuring out what questions we want to figure out. During tutorial, the teacher made it sound as if its so simple but when it comes not to the real thing my group members and me we get stuck. this is not the first time and up to now i can't seem to tackle one problem properly. 4projects, 4 exams and 1 graduation project. KILL ME!! i have been having a very bad stomach these few days. Rachel knows the feeling man! Thank god for her. But i shit and she pukes. what a combination man. i was telling her a joke. so funny. here is what she wrote on her blog.

Time passes really really fast. In the catholic calender, we are going to celebrate Easter in a week's time. For school, many projects are up and i have to get it going. In about less than 3weeks time i have to get my butt up and pass up all the individual and group projects. Fast right? i haven't been well for the past week. The past week has been a lot of things to sink in. i am currently on break from YC. if anyone from YC reads this post, you won't understand why i have disappeared from the face of YC. I think i need time to figure out what i want now. Its been 6years in YC. Not long, Not short. Comparing to the others (older ones), 6 years is nothing. But i know i need this break to figure out what YC means to me. Its been tough figuring out what it is in me i want to do for YC. its in me not knowing if i still love YC as i used to. I think i am tired. i dunno. its just too many things for me to take at this point. I got school, a life outside church, family. I do not want to be in YC for the sake of just being there. I want to know my purpose, i want to know what i can do for YC and i need to figure out if YC is giving me life and vice versa. If any of you are reading this, know that it is tough making this decision and taking this step saying that yes i need a break. Just to be in prayer and think. I may not return back to YC but know that i once so love YC and still do. Its up to god, where he decides i should go. I know our dearest lord has ever been so understanding and kind. He has been there forever to just hear me cry, laugh and shout to him. Ever so forgiving and willing to listen to this little child of his. What more can i ask? he even gave us his mother to teach me how to be patient, gentle and kind. where can you find someone like this that is so human and real? only mary. i thank god for friends, family and love one. =) God keeps me going no matter how hard it is to go on. its because of god i am who i am today. Thank you lord for giving me confidence, honesty and a heart to learn to love. =)

I have fallen sick. i had a sore throat since friday night but it got worse yesterday until i couldn't make it to school today. I had a very bad headache, sore throat, fever, backache and puking feeling. Today i was at the verge of puking but i will always stop myself from puking because i am always afraid of puking. I hope i get well soon. i got a lot of work to do soon. Projects and projects over and over again.

it has been 1 week since i have turned 20 years old. The 29th of February 2008. Friends from ITE, BRD, YC, MDIS, Expeditors Colleagues, family and that someone special made 29th February 2008 worth the wait. I had a enjoyable day and thank you for all the special messages and i have kept all of them in a special place in my heart. Thank you for everything everyone. =)

This week so far has been okie. Been meeting up with people and for the next two days i will be meeting up with more people. i am praying and hoping for strength. Its tough but i don't want to go and think how tough its going to be. Because there is no point la. I went to do a slight perm to my hair. i kinda like it. it has been the perm i always wanted. its just a bit wavy. so i like it. i need to get to sleep because tomorrow i am going to have a long day ahead. Night Night. =)

Labels: Lord, Open my eyes